The Reactionary Utopian

Book and Movie

November 20, 2006

Some people seem to forget that we live in a country where a man is presumed innocent until proven guilty, even if Alan Dershowitz is representing him. So, predictably, the Usual Suspects are already panning O.J. Simpson’s new book without

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having read a word of it.

Have they forgotten that the prosecution had a whole year to persuade an impartial jury that Simpson murdered his wife, Nicole, and another man, and that he was acquitted? Like an insatiable lynch mob, they continue to make Simpson’s life miserable, not content with having ruined his acting career and damaged his stature as a civil rights leader.

The book, titled simply If I Did It, is a literary trailblazer. Simpson boldly reaffirms his innocence and proves it by explaining that the real killer, or killers, who has, or have, never been apprehended, didn’t do it the way he would have done it, supposing he was, or were, capable of such a crime, or crimes.

If you’ll pardon a brief digression, it reminds me of Bob Newhart’s remark that nowadays you can convince people you’re an intellectual just by mentioning Kafka — “even if you’ve never actually read any of his, or her, works.”

Anyway, Simpson has certainly adopted a novel defense strategy, one so original that nobody seems to know how to cope with it except by screaming indignantly. Even his publisher, Judith Regan, has come under fierce attack, and now she claims to be the real victim in the case. Don’t ask me why — it’s as confusing as the plot of Vertigo. Simpson is also going to make his defense argument in a long interview on the Fox network, which some Fox affiliates, yielding to anti-Simpson prejudice, are refusing to carry.

It’s reached the point of absurdity. Somewhere, the real killer or killers must be laughing his, or their, head or heads off. As Mr. Bumble says, the law is a ass and a idiot.

[Breaker quote for Book and Movie: The plots thicken.]

[Breaker quote for Book and Movie: The plots thicken.]

But back to Vertigo. I realize it’s just a movie, but if the girl (Kim Novak), whose name later turns out to be Judy, is just pretending to be the detective’s friend’s wife Madeleine, isn’t she taking things rather far when she fakes a suicide attempt by jumping into San Francisco Bay? How can she be so sure the detective, John “Scottie” Ferguson (Jimmy Stewart), will risk his own life by diving in to rescue her? Is his falling in love with her all part of the plan?

And how does the villainous husband anticipate all these developments, plus the way Scottie’s vertigo will cause him to behave in the real crisis? How much is this guy paying her, anyway? It must be quite a bit, because after the “rescue,” she has to feign unconsciousness while Scottie takes her back to his place and peels all those wet clothes off her.

And if she can speak so elegantly in her assumed role as Madeleine, why does she revert to such slovenly speech when the assignment is completed? And why does Scottie fall for her all over again when she goes back to being Judy, the same dull tramp she was before he met her as Madeleine?

The more you think about it, the less sense it makes. And why did Alfred Hitchcock think the public would swallow all this? And why did Hitchcock rely on rear projection so much?

The movie ends abruptly, with all sorts of questions left unresolved. Does that villainous husband just get away with the real Madeleine’s murder? And why would a man want to get rid of a wife who’s a dead ringer for Kim Novak in the first place? We never learn. Never, surely, has a man gone to such bizarre lengths to dispose of an unwanted wife. He not only murders her, he makes it look like a suicide by inventing a weird background story, hiring both a woman to impersonate her and a detective with vertigo to be present at her simulated suicide (at a convent!), so that Scottie is tried for her death (though he is not convicted, just severely scolded by the judge). To make matters even more complicated, wouldn’t you know that Judy, while pretending to be Madeleine in order to fool Scottie, falls in love with him too.

The husband should have written a book to explain his devious methods. Possible title: If I Did It.

Joseph Sobran

Copyright © 2006 by the Griffin Internet Syndicate,
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