The Sobran Administration
January 2, 2003
In my last column, I observed that the
presidency is ... a Supermans job. Nobody should be given or
trusted with that much power and responsibility. Nobody can
possibly handle it.
By abandoning
our Constitution, in which the legislative branch is supreme, we have
permitted the executive branch to assume a centrality it was never meant
to have. The president is now said to be our leader.
Hes expected to provide governance, protection, economic
expertise, geopolitical cunning, and inspiration, among other things; and of
course he also has to have a talent for raising money and winning
elections.
Rare is the man
who can master even one of these disparate, unrelated, almost
miscellaneous skills. Requiring all of them is like asking a single
individual to excel at playing the harpsichord, logical theory, standup
comedy, chess, and pole-vaulting.
This, of course, raises
the natural question, Why, then, am I running for the presidency? Am I
arrogant enough to believe I possess all these qualities?
Not at all. Some people
find me cocky, but at least Im humble enough to admit Im
mortal: aging, slowing down, with thinning hair and thickening waistline.
Im incapable of ruling the world. Elect me, and youll at
least get a president who knows his limitations.
As for raising money
and winning elections, well, let me just check the coffers here ... nope,
still empty. Actually, I havent asked for campaign donations.
Im not planning to cross the continent seeking votes, giving
speeches, shaking hands, kissing babies. Im planning to campaign
on the cheap, right here at my keyboard, and let the Internet work its
magic. Either people will get the message and write in my name, or they
wont.
Not
surprisingly, the liberal media are ignoring my campaign. So are the
conservative media, which is not surprising either, since they dont
want conservatives to know there is actually a presidential candidate who
takes the U.S. Constitution seriously, even when it interferes with the
right-wing agenda of making war all over the place.
Which brings me to my
campaign promise: as president, I will veto any act of Congress I deem
unconstitutional; I will impound any funds Congress appropriates for
unconstitutional purposes; and I will refuse to enforce any Federal law on
the books if it isnt authorized by the Constitution. I will ask
Congress to repeal most existing Federal laws and spending programs.
Faulty decisions of the
U.S. Supreme Court will also be unenforced. In fact, no Federal law will be
enforced in the former Confederate States of America, since I will
recognize the right of those states to secede from the Union and consider
the Lincoln administrations denial of their sovereignty grossly
unconstitutional. I will abide by the Declaration of Independence, which
declares that all the states are, and of Right ought to be, Free and
Independent States.
All this will guarantee
my swift impeachment and removal from the presidency, since Congress
will surely regard keeping my oath to uphold the Constitution as chief
among high crimes and misdemeanors. But I can always run
again in 2008, 2112, and so forth.
In the unlikely event
that I am allowed to serve out my term, what will be my economic policy?
Since I dont have the infinite foresight socialist planning and
running the economy require, I will try to see that every
American is permitted to spend his own money as he sees fit. My
policy will simply be to respect all private ownership.
Foreign policy? Since I
regard virtually all existing foreign governments as forming an axis of
evil, I will avoid engagement with all of them. I will seek peace and
friendly commerce with all countries; if they choose to make war with
each other, the United States will remain aloof. Such a peace policy, now
absurdly labeled isolationism, was commended by George
Washington and Thomas Jefferson.
Civil rights? I will try
to restore one of the most basic of them: the right to associate, or to
refuse to associate, with any person. Compulsory association, racial
favoritism, and restrictions on the use of property arent
civil rights.
Adherence to these
simple principles wont put much of a strain on my meager
abilities. It seems to me the only way an honest man can exercise the
awesome power and responsibility of the presidency.
Joseph Sobran
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