THE WANDERER, MARCH 8, 2007
JOSEPH SOBRAN'S
WASHINGTON WATCH
I haven't received the latest issue of THE NEW
YORKER, but it's already making news with an article by
the invaluable Seymour Hersh reporting that the Pentagon
is preparing intensively -- and illegally -- for a
military strike on Iran.
Hersh says the Department of Defense, not the CIA,
is smuggling agents into Iran disguised as Iranian
civilians.
Not only is this illegal under U.S. law; under the
Geneva Conventions, only those captured in uniform are
entitled to the protections due to prisoners of war. It's
hardly necessary to spell out where this may lead.
Hersh really keeps his ear to the ground, has great
sources, and collects well-earned enemies in every
administration. I wonder how many high-level conspiracies
he has aborted over the last four decades by getting wind
of them in time.
Meanwhile, with respect to Iran, the politicians
have a new mantra, repeated so obsessively as to remind
one of the brainwashed soldiers in THE MANCHURIAN
CANDIDATE: "All options are on the table." This is a
transparent euphemism for "We're not ruling out nuking
Iran."
When John Edwards said it to an Israeli audience
recently, he added, just so nobody would miss the point,
"I repeat: all options." That's how you raise campaign
money nowadays: by threatening mass murder.
Incidentally, though it might be overstating the
case to say President Bush is enjoying a comeback, we are
now hearing less-frequent reports of his sinking poll
numbers.
But that could change in a flash if he attacks Iran.
As Conan O'Brien has quipped, his recent warnings about
the Iranian threat sound as if he has just taken his old
Iraq speeches and changed all the Qs to Ns.
Hollywood Goes to War
His name may be slightly unfamiliar to the folks who
buy the popcorn, but David Geffen of DreamWorks is one of
the most puissant figures in Hollywood, a leading player
in the Democratic Party and an old friend of the
Clintons. So he caused a furor last week when he told
Maureen Dowd of THE NEW YORK TIMES that he is throwing
his hefty support from la Hillary to Barack Obama.
Why? Because Obama is "inspirational," and the
Clintons haven't changed: "Everybody in politics lies,
but they do it with such ease, it's troubling."
Furthermore: "I don't think anybody believes that in the
last six years, all of a sudden Bill Clinton has become a
different person."
Hillary exploded. Through her spokesmen, she
demanded that Obama repudiate Geffen and refund his
money. Fat chance. Obama, through his own spokesmen,
coolly retorted that Bill and Hill had had no scruples
about taking Geffen's dough back when they were stuffing
it into their own pockets and putting him up in the
Lincoln bedroom.
O world, thy slippery turns! Stilettos were flashing
all over the place, and Obama by no means got the worst
of it. As I often say, old ladies should think twice
before starting knife fights. Thought she was going to
teach this kid a lesson, did she?
Well, this is what she gets for "moving to the
right" -- taking such fascist positions as opposing gay
wedlock and supporting the American Legion flag-burning
amendment.
Vexations
"Father," I recently asked a priest friend, "if we
can't have the Tridentine Mass back, do you think we
could at least have the Novus Ordo said in pig Latin?"
I still cringe when I hear Catholics say "hollowed
be thy name," confusing "hallowed" with "hollowed," just
as some of my angry readers confuse "mean-spirited" with
"mean," and most people use "might" for "may."
Life is a vale of tears for pre-Vatican II English
teachers, as it must be for those lonely Episcopalians
who still adhere to the Thirty-Nine Articles. We are
headed for extinction. My reverend friend and I also
agreed that were it not for the lesbian clergy, the
Episcopalians might not reproduce at all.
And as if I didn't have enough to tear my remaining
hair about already, I just heard a newsman call Al
Sharpton a "civil rights leader." You thought he was just
a comical racial demagogue?
Now it transpires, by the way, that one of
Sharpton's ancestors was the slave of one of Strom
Thurmond's ancestors, also named Sharpton.
Which reminds me: If we're supposed to be reminded
that George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves,
why aren't we also reminded that Julius Caesar and
countless other Greek and Roman freemen owned them too?
Yes, all men are (and always have been) created equal,
but it seems that owning white slaves is less culpable
than owning black ones.
Have we at last reached the limits of our amazing,
seemingly infinite capacity for moral indignation about
the past?
Persevering in Dark Times
Abortion seems to have dwindled to an intramural
Republican issue, and even most people who regard it as a
grave evil have difficulty keeping it uppermost in their
minds. There are just too many distractions, and in
politics the urgent always tends to usurp the important.
A sense of futility, discouragement, abandonment,
betrayal, and just plain baffling practical complexity
makes it hard to sustain resistance. It is easy to
succumb to the feeling that though it's terribly wrong,
legal abortion is now here to stay; that even our old
allies have found other things to do.
Let us at least beware of our own infirmities and
keep praying.
Sad Decline
Far be it from me to solicit pity, but it is a plain
fact that since my stroke I am not quite what I once was.
I can tell. Not to brag, but before the stroke I was
something of a math whiz. I could solve calculus problems
in my head -- using Roman numerals. (Now I have to count
on my toes.)
+ + +
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--- Joseph Sobran
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