The Reactionary Utopian
March 23, 2007
I REMEMBER SANDY
by Joe Sobran
"Every harlot was a virgin once."
-- William Blake
Today I'll be discussing what is called "sex,"
drawing on my own personal experience, so I hope the
reader will put up with some frank language. Chiefly I've
learned that a woman doesn't have to be "sexy." She just
has to be female.
It started back in Michigan with my first
girlfriend, Sandy, when I was about 14. No, not "about"
14. Fourteen exactly. It's not as if I can't remember.
How could I ever forget?
Sandy was not your homecoming queen type. Far from
glamorous, she was a shy, some would say mousy girl, but
very sweet, with a soft voice you could hardly hear. Her
ears protruded somewhat, but I thought they were cute. I
was probably the first boy who had ever walked her home
from school. If she didn't have much to spend on clothes,
I never noticed or gave a darn. Maybe she wasn't a
knockout, but she was a lot more feminine than most of
the girls who were. I couldn't have been happier if she'd
been Audrey Hepburn. In fact she was better. I didn't
have to worry that Sandy might ditch me for some rich,
suave Cary Grant.
She was a pretty typical girl of the time, the
Fifties, who I guess had played with dolls and dreamed of
getting married and having babies some day, just as I had
dreamed of making Little League and, eventually, the New
York Yankees. She was about as far from being a vamp as I
was from being a wolf. We were both skinny kids. Somehow
we wound up holding hands. Necking? Petting? Are you
kidding? If you wanted that stuff, you waited until you
grew up and went to the painted women of the big cities
out East.
It was the age of Elvis, but I didn't dance, so we
mostly stayed home and listened to Pat Boone's version of
"Tutti-Frutti," or maybe Nat "King" Cole singing "Walkin'
My Baby Back Home." A couple of real Fifties swingers,
Sandy and I. That was before "baby" was pronounced
"bye-buh." Not that I'd ever call Sandy "baby"; I let Pat
and Nat say it for me. I think she knew what I meant.
Sandy's family was so poor that she could only
afford one falsie; not that she told me this in so many
words, but she had a bratty little brother it was hard to
keep secrets from. Falsies were what the Fifties had
instead of implants. I tried to assure her that her
goiter was barely noticeable. She tried to cover it up
with makeup, if Clearasil counts as makeup. (Tip to guys:
Later in life I found the line "Goiter? What goiter?"
useful with the fair sex. It puts them at ease
immediately. Elementary savoir-faire.)
Sandy and I never got around to discussing marriage.
Or even going steady. I wasn't ready to settle down.
Besides, I was already settled down, essentially. I was
born settled down. And our chief ambition wasn't to set
the world on fire. It was just to be normal. That was
hard enough when that brother of hers kept taunting,
"Sandy's got a boyfriend! Sandy's got a boyfriend!" (Tip
to the girls: If you wish to project the image of an
exotic woman of mystery, lose the kid brother.)
Sure, I knew the facts of life (by then I was well
into puberty), but you didn't mention them around nice
girls. Remember nice girls? They had to learn the facts
of life by marrying guys who already knew them, I
figured. We didn't talk about "family values." You just
behaved yourself -- or else.
One fact of life your parents never told you about
was what was then called impotence (when people mentioned
it at all), now known as ED. Not that I'd have believed
it anyway. In fact if my elders had told me about it I'd
never have believed another doggoned word they said. The
very idea would have seemed inherently improbable. And a
teenage boy could use a little ED now and then. The least
of our problems. We prayed for it. And now they want to
"cure" it?
In her unassuming way, Sandy taught me all I really
needed to know about women. Even later, when I
(inadvertently) encountered those painted women out East,
I found I couldn't go too far wrong as long as I
remembered that each of them had once been a Sandy.
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