The Reactionary Utopian
February 8, 2007
FOR BIGOTS ONLY
by Joe Sobran
After accusing various popes, saints, politicians,
celebrities, and even my humble self of anti-Semitism
over the years, the columnist Richard Cohen is shocked to
find that he has been accused of anti-Semitism himself.
I'm surprised that he is shocked. He has written
critically of the state of Israel, and he's now one of a
number of liberal Jews (the historian Tony Judt is
another) finding themselves in the same dock. How could
he not have seen this coming?
This genie has been out of the bottle for a long
time. It isn't just Jews, of course; any number can play
(except Christians, who are to blame for so many evils).
When Senator Joe Biden tried to pay Barack Obama an
innocent compliment the other day, he found himself
facing the charge of implying that black politicians
speak poor English, don't bathe, and wear baggy zoot
suits. Watch what you say. Another columnist, David
Brooks, has written that the word "neoconservative" is
now an anti-Semitic code-word for "Jew."
Never mind the Jews who call themselves neocons.
"Self-haters," no doubt. I've always liked Woody Allen's
reply to that label: "It's true that I'm Jewish, and I
don't like myself very much, but it has nothing to do
with my religion." Liberal though he is, Cohen is subject
to spasms of common sense and humor, either of which can
be perilous. Humorlessness is threatening to become our
national religion. A country that considers Robin
Williams funny is already in deep trouble.
Sports fans know that the names of their teams are
apt to be found "deeply offensive" to alleged spokesmen
-- oops, spokespersons -- for this or that ethnic group,
such as Indians -- oops, Native Americans. Once upon a
time somebody named a Boston baseball team the Braves,
thinking it was innocuous, a way of saluting brave
warriors (teams aren't named for creatures that are held
in contempt, such as rodents, but for beasts and people
associated with power and valor, such as lions and tigers
and bears); Babe Ruth played for them for a while. Later
they moved to Milwaukee and nobody complained. It wasn't
until long after the Braves had moved to Atlanta that
outrage erupted. Maybe it would have been more prudent to
call them the Atlanta Persons.
The forces of Organized Touchiness never rest. That
includes the Joke Police. The only safety lies in bland
solemnity. America is littered with the casualties of the
bigotry wars -- people who have asserted, suggested, or
said things that might possibly be construed to imply
anything that Al Sharpton or Abe Foxman finds
prejudicial. Never say anything that reminds these people
of slavery or the Holocaust, unless you are prepared to
do a lot of groveling. Even Marlon Brando had to crawl
after blurting that Jews run Hollywood.
It's no use saying you're not prejudiced; that's
what bigots always say. Anyway, how would you know?
Bigotry may be unconscious. That's what makes it so
insidious.
At the moment, the gravest offense against
minorities is Holocaust denial. It's worse than actually
murdering them. In fact you might be more readily excused
for defending the Holocaust than for expressing doubt of
its occurrence.
With millions of new Mexican, Muslim, and Asian
(don't say "Oriental," let alone "Chinaman!") immigrants
pouring in, we can expect an intensification of the
Sensitivity Sweepstakes. I tremble for my country when I
reflect that the Almighty has a sense of humor and that
he cannot suppress his laughter forever.
Here on earth, in the Land of the Free, you are
guilty if accused. Even if you haven't actually lynched
or gassed anyone, you are guilty of having been accused.
It's not up to you to say whether you are a racist or
anti-Semite; even if the charge is false by objective
standards, you obviously did something to make someone
want to make a false charge. Simple logic. I must have
done something to make Richard Cohen accuse me, and now
he must have done something to make someone else accuse
him. Let's not get bogged down in irresolvable issues of
truth and falsehood.
But doesn't this mean anyone can be accused of
racism and anti-Semitism? Now you're getting the idea! In
the Soviet Union, anyone could be accused of "anti-Soviet
activities," a term that would have been useless if it
had ever been clearly defined. Your own show trial may be
just a matter of time.
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