The Reactionary Utopian
                     January 23, 2007


PROSPECTS FOR 2008
by Joe Sobran

     Before you pull that lever for Barack Obama, latest 
darling of the liberal media, ask yourself a simple 
question: At this point in our history, can we afford to 
bestow the nation's highest office on a suicide bomber?

     I know, I know. The Clinton camp is denying it had 
anything to do with the story ascribed to them by INSIGHT 
magazine, an offshoot of the Moonie-owned WASHINGTON 
TIMES, that Obama attended a radical Muslim school in his 
formative years. And if you believe that, I have some 
choice real estate in downtown Baghdad you may be 
interested in.

     This story has "Clinton" written all over it. Which 
is not to say it's necessarily false. These people know 
how to dig up dirt on their opponents. That's the 
devilish part of it. We can't dismiss the possibility 
that Obama, if elected, would self-destruct at the very 
moment of his inauguration, taking the Chief Justice and 
other dignitaries with him.

     Before you call me prejudiced, ask yourself honestly 
if you would feel entirely at ease boarding an airliner 
with this guy. How does he even get through airport 
security with a name like Barack =Hussein= Obama? Half 
the people who check you out at the airport look like 
al-Qaeda operatives anyway.

     Yes, the 2008 presidential race is already in full 
swing. And these are some of the thorny issues the 
American voter will have to face in the months ahead.

     There are other issues to consider. Just what are 
Hillary's qualifications for the presidency, anyway? If 
having been Bill Clinton's main squeeze qualifies you, 
why not Monica Lewinsky? Since we last heard from her, 
she has been studying at the prestigious London School of 
Economics. So much for the idea that she is a silly 
floozy. She has acquired undeniable gravitas. All she 
needs now is an exploratory committee. She already has 
the chief qualification for a world leader: name 
recognition.

     Obama has other problems. Al Sharpton points out 
that he is not really "black," in the sense that none of 
his ancestors were slaves. At least not in America. Nor 
has Obama taken a position on the Duke University 
lacrosse team and Tawana Brawley, or whoever she is.

     Bill Richardson, a governor, has also entered the 
race, claiming to be Hispanic. So has John Edwards, 
though, uniquely among Democratic presidential hopefuls, 
he doesn't claim to be anything, except maybe an Iowan.

     On the Republican side, several dozen candidates 
have announced plans to form exploratory committees. All 
of them are white males, claiming only a single 
qualification: none of them is named Bush. One admits 
that his name is McCain, and he has set himself apart 
from all the others by urging that more young Americans 
be sent to Iraq. When the incumbent leaves office, 
American troops will still be there and Donald Trump and 
Rosie O'Donnell will still be at war. Trump is a Sunni, 
O'Donnell a Shi'ite. Can't we all just get along? Not 
just yet.

     One issue unites all the candidates of both parties: 
Nobody wants to revive the U.S. Constitution. For those 
voters who may be interested (a tiny splinter of the 
electorate), the quaintly named Constitution Party will 
be on the ballot in some states. If it wins, the U.S. 
Supreme Court will overrule the election as 
unconstitutional. This may seem paradoxical, unless you 
consider that the entire Constitution grossly violates 
the Fourteenth Amendment.

     If Hillary wins the presidency, an old principle 
will kick in: Buy one, get one free. Buy Hillary, and 
they'll throw Bill in with her. Not only that, but we'll 
get some of that White House furniture back. No other 
candidate can match this offer. Of course we should 
demand a pledge that she won't let Bill rent out the 
Lincoln Bedroom this time.

     In addition, Hillary may have trouble getting her 
agenda through Congress. Even when the Democrats 
controlled it, it rejected her national health-care plan. 
So with a larger Republican majority, she would probably 
fail again. A vote for Hillary may therefore be a vote 
for gridlock, which is about the best we can 
realistically hope for now.

     It has been observed that not since 1976 have we had 
an election with neither a Bush nor a Clinton on either 
party's ticket. Think about that.

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